I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
