Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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