Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
