everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, beer. Big fan.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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