Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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