Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
