ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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