I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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