she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
