xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
