My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
