She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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