Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
