It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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