is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
