I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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