They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ketchup is God's man juice
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Randomize
