Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
