my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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