talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i barfeds in our rink
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
