he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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