Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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