i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
