New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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