Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
