OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
