My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize