Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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