The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
