So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
