fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
