Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize