It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
