i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
