why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
