It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need to align my fucking chakras
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