I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize