I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
