roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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