He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't turn off my feet"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
