Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
