This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
