Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
