I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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