I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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