Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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