all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize