I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
