She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
