just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
