he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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