that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
