I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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