I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
