I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
