I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I pour the whiskey from now on
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
