Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
