You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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