We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
