shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
