Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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