she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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