YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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